Ten Things that Make Me Cry

1. Seeing baby animals killed in wildlife documentaries. I know it's just how nature works sometimes, but dang! Gets me every time.
2. Hearing from one of my kids that they've been struggling with something and haven't told me about it because they didn't want to "bother" me. Doesn't matter how many times I tell them it's never a "bother"; one of my kids in particular is a suffer-in-silence kind of person, and it tears me up.
3. Forgetting what my dad's speaking voice sounded like. I can still hear his singing voice, if I concentrate really hard.
4. Laughing uncontrollably at something my husband or kids have said or done. I live with funny people.
5. Watching my granddaughter sleep.
6. Reading about, hearing about, or witnessing someone do a kind, unselfish thing for someone who really needs it.
7. Throwing up. To say I hate it is a huge understatement. When it happens (rarely, thank goodness), I instantly become five years old again and just want my mommy. 
8. Feeling misunderstood. Also, feeling understood when I've thought nobody would ever understand.
9. Reading or watching a great character die. I get emotionally attached, y'all!
10. Listening to a beautiful piece of music.

How about you? What makes your eyeballs sweat?

AFTER LIFE - A Series Review

Ricky Gervais and I have a complicated relationship. Of course, he has no idea of this and doubtlessly wouldn't care. But despite my beefs with some of his tactics and the delivery of some of his opinions, particularly about faith and religion, I think he's--by and large--hilarious. I didn't enjoy his movie, The Invention of Lying, and some of his standup has been "meh," but his series are solid gold (with the exception of An Idiot Abroad, which I found to be pretty obnoxious and downright mean at times). Anyway, all this to say that when I saw he had released a new series on Netflix called After Life, I eagerly hit "play" on episode 1. And I watched all six episodes in a row. Because that's how I roll.

Here's the basic premise: a recent widower named Tony (Gervais) decides after his wife, Lisa, dies that life is no longer worth living. But since he's ruled out suicide as viable choice, he opts to simply be the biggest asshole on the planet, instead. When he's not making his co-workers and everyone else around him miserable, he watches videos his dying wife left for him to remind him of who he was, through her eyes. They're touching and funny and--in light of what the viewer sees of the only Tony we know--poignant and heartbreaking. The people around Tony, however, aren't ready to give up on him like he's given up on life and himself, and their daily interactions with him start to make an impact, bit by bit. It's a surprisingly heartwarming show from the usually crass mind of Gervais, even more so than Derek, in that it relies a lot less on cheap humor and gross-out tactics.

One of my favorite parts of the show was all of the familiar faces from other Gervais productions. Their willingness to be in so many of Gervais's shows leads me to believe he's not as big of a jerk as he'd like the world to believe. Kerry Godliman (Derek) plays Lisa. Ashley Jensen (Extras) plays a nursing home nurse. Other Gervais regulars include Tony Way (Extras) and David Earl (Derek). And then there were the bigger names who signed on and were a delight to see in such a quirky show: Penelope Wilton, David Bradley (Filch, from Harry Potter), and Paul Kaye (Game of Thrones). In fact, like most UK shows I watch, one of the best parts is spotting all of the people you've seen in every other UK production. Actors over there are amazingly diverse and just seem to love to act--no matter what the platform.

So if you're at loose ends and love to cringe-laugh, check out After Life on Netflix. It just premiered March 8, 2019, so it should be available there for a while.

I give it:

Ten Things that Make Me Happy

Just a quick post/list to get us through the doldrums of mid-week. Here are...

TEN THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY!

1. Discovering a new podcast. Nothing fires me up more than finding a new source for learning! My discovery this week:  Happiness Spells. It's completely comprised of lists of things to contemplate, designed to foster a stronger sense of gratitude. They're wonderful!
2. Bitmojis. They're adorbs. I love them so much! I used this one last night while texting with my sister and telling her how exhausting my Monday was:
   
   
3. Texting with my siblings. We're kind of all over the place, both geographically (three of us in SW Missouri, one in Illinois, one in Virginia--and sometimes Afghanistan--and one in the UK), so it's always fun to get in touch, even if it's just to say a quick, "I love you."
4. Murder dramas, documentaries, docudramas, etc. As I said to my kids the other day when they were making fun of me for being so addicted to true crime stuff, "Murder is life." They thought I was being silly, but... I mean it. 
5. Marking things off my to-do list. So. Satisfying.
6. Coloring. I'm currently coloring a storybook for my granddaughter. It's fun!
7. Sparkling water. Yep. I'm one of those people now. I love that it gives me the refreshing bubbles without the sugar. I get sugar in plenty of other places, so don't worry that I'm becoming perfect, or something.
8. Eucalyptus lotion. Sooooooooooooooooooothing.
9. Microfleece blankies.
10. Eavesdropping on my kids and hearing the funny things they say when they think the grownups aren't listening.

What about you? Drop some things in the comments that make you happy lately.

Weird Flex, Dude

Remember humble-bragging? "Ugh.  My kids are involved in so many extracurricular activities!" Translated: "Look how fabulous and accomplished my kids are. I'm exhausted, but I'm such a great parent, I set aside my own needs and live only to serve and chauffeur them."  It's still a thing, but it's so ubiquitous now, we've mostly tuned it out. Just another narcissistic trait we've normalized and adopted into mainstream culture.

Similar to humble-bragging and something creeping more and more into social discourse lately is the "weird flex."

For those of you not in the know, like I am, because I'm familiar with all of the latest terminology... Hahaha... The beginning of this paragraph is a "weird flex." It's being proud of something that doesn't really justify pride. In other words, who the eff cares that I know rando terms that will be outdated before I can even hit "publish" on this post? But yeah. I'm down. It's really similar to humble-bragging. In fact, there's a lot of overlap in humble-bragging and weird flexing. But while the humble-brag hides the boast in a complaint, the weird flex often pokes fun at people who can't claim the same "talent" or attribute. Here are some common weird flexes, you've probably witnessed in the world (some of which I'm guilty* of saying/doing, I have to admit) .

1. "Well, I know how to drive a standard transmission vehicle." [posts meme laughing at those who never learned]
Good for you! You're old enough that you had to learn the hard way. Congrats on making so many trips around the sun!

2. "Click 'like' if you know what/who this [insert picture of obsolete item or obscure person] is, but don't spoil it in the comments."
Knowing things and withholding opportunities for others to learn is awesome!

3. "We're a non-GMO, non-BPA, no-outside-shoes, all-natural, all-organic, anti-vax, gluten-free, no sugar, no electronics household."
Yay! More cake and wi-fi for the rest of us!

4. "Check out the list of brands/franchises I'm boycotting."*
Oooh! I think you got "Bingo!"

5. "Oh, I don't believe in [name something that has nothing to do with 'belief' or 'disbelief']."
All right. Well... it exists, so... mkay.

6. "I just can't handle peopling. I'm such an introvert!"*
Being anti-social is finally cool!

7. "I never get a flu shot, but it's no biggie. When I do get sick, I never take a sick day."
Gee, thanks. Wanna donate your unused sick days to the rest of us, since we have to use all of ours when you leave your germs on the photocopier?

8. "I only wash my hair once a week."
Thought I smelled something. Oh, my gosh! Something just moved in there!

9. "Last weekend, I got rid of everything in my house that doesn't bring me joy." [Pauses.] "Has anyone seen my husband?"
I've yet to get joy from a roll of toilet paper, but I think I'll hang on to that and a few other things that--while not joyful--do serve important purposes.

10. "I can't tell you the last time I cleaned my house. We just don't bother with housework anymore."*
Right... So... About that invitation to dinner at your place... I don't "believe" in dirty houses. Why don't I pick you up in my stick-shift car, so we can go out for a meal together? Just make sure it's somewhere not on this list... [unrolls boycott list longer than a CVS receipt]. You know what? Never mind. I'm not good at peopling, and we probably won't be able to find a decent non-GMO, gluten-free place. Plus, it's flu season cough, cough; hack, hack, AND it's the night I wash my hair and oil my flugelhorn, which brings me a lot of joy. I'd tell you what that is, but if you don't already know, must not be meant to understand. Probably too young, or something. Anyway...

List some of your "favorite" weird flexes in the comments! Even better if you're guilty of them.

Personality Types

Look, guys! A post NOT about podcasts. Full disclosure, though, I learned about the Enneagram Institute while listening to a podcast interview of Nadia Bolz Weber, one of my favorite writers and theologians. I decided to look up what type I am, because... who doesn't love a Buzzfeed-type quiz? No quiz, but I read through the descriptions and discovered I'm a 6. Hm. How... average of me. With a few exceptions, the personality description is pretty spot-on.

YES!

• "they will defend their community or family more tenaciously than they will defend themselves." If you don't believe me, ask my kids.
• "they think--and worry--a lot!" Uh, hello. Have you read this blog?
• "[they] are always aware of their anxieties and are always looking for ways to construct “social security” bulwarks against them." Oh, the systems and strategies I have...
• Addictions: "Caffeine... for stamina, but also alcohol and depressants to deaden anxiety."

Not Really...

• Indecisive. I actually tend to make unilateral decisions a bit too often. Probably annoys the crap out of my husband. I've decided not to ask him, though.
• ..."'belief'... is difficult for Sixes to achieve." Nah, I'm good with trust, faith, convictions, and positions, as long as it doesn't have to do with having those things in myself.
• Fear of abandonment. Oh, gosh no. This independent introvert is cool with alone time.

The word that keeps jumping out at me in these descriptions, though, is "anxiety." That's my biggest challenge in life. If I could just tame it... Pharmaceuticals have helped tremendously, and I thank God every day that I live in a time and place where I have access to decent mental health care. I'm fully aware that not everyone can say that, and my heart goes out to those who struggle, like I do, with anxiety (and sometimes depression) but don't have the resources to alleviate it.

Now, I realize personality types are just a tad more scientific than zodiac signs, but I still love them. I'm also fascinated by the Myers Briggs personality types. I'm an INFJ (Introvert, INtuitive, Feeling, Judging). It's a rare personality type, supposedly, but I've met a lot of others who also fall into this category. This link takes you to some tests to determine which one you are.

Maybe some people don't like to be so easily pigeon-holed, but as my Enneagram personality type would attest, I like the certainty and security of knowing that a) I'm not alone; b) someone has figured me out (because I've yet to do so); and c) I'm not so weird, after all.

Well, maybe that last one is a bit of a stretch in my interpretation of the data.

Which Enneagram type do you think you are? Which parts of the description fit you best? Which parts aren't quite as relevant?

Podcast-Inspired Discussion: Ten Things that Scare Me

One of the great things about listening to podcasts is that podcasters love to share their favorite podcasts. Okay, some of them have to promote other shows produced by the same company they work for (kind of like network shows and cross-promotions), but the good production companies tend to make a lot of good shows, so the tips their podcasters give usually pan out for me. Consistently solid companies are Panoply, Gimlet, Radiotopia, PRX, and NPR, among others. I was listening to On Being (a podcast sure to be discussed multiple times on this blog, since Krista Tippett does the BEST interviews of the most fascinating people) when they promoted another podcast called "10 Things That Scare Me," a mini podcast. They billed it as a great exercise in empathy. Oh, man. That's right in my wheelhouse. I'm all about empathy.

That empathy was put to the test when the podcast featured Anthony Scaramucci (former Trump administration member) as one of its guest. Ugh. But you know what? His list, in addition to confirming he's a conceited slimeball, was enlightening, and he and I actually share a couple of fears, like that he'll return to Washington someday. Ha! Anyway, the episodes are only about five minutes each, with the guest literally listing ten things they're afraid of, adding a little bit of exposition here and there. It's, in turns, funny, heartbreaking, endearing, and poignant. And the host of the show always shares one thing at the end of each episode that scares her. They're usually hilarious, but at the same time, very relatable. There's a real comfort in knowing we're not alone, even in some of our strangest worries. Check it out on the podcast app I'm sure you've downloaded by now so you can listen to all of my recommendations. Or........... visit the 10 Things That Scare Me website.

And here's my TEN THINGS THAT SCARE ME list. I'd LOVE it if you'd share a similar list for yourself in the comments to this post.

1. Tornadoes.
2. Walking out of work or the store to find my car's been stolen.
3. My kids never leaving home after they become adults. I mean, I love 'em, but... absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
4. Our landline voicemail inbox, which is always full. (Yes, we still have a landline, for emergencies.) I never check the voicemail. Just so you know...
5. Food poisoning.
6. Dying last in my family. My husband and I argue about this all the time. He says there's no way I can die before him, because he'll be lost. He has a point; I know all of the account passwords. Still, I'm terrified of having to bury him and my kids and living to be super-old. I know I won't be one of those active, fun, fit old people, still bee-bopping around in her nineties. I'm already past my bee-boppin' days.
7. And on that note... Alzheimer's or dementia.
8. Snakes.
9. Ruined vacations. It happens so rarely that we have the time, opportunity, and money to go on vacation, so when the stars do align, and we're able to go, I fear all the things that can go wrong. We've been relatively lucky, but last summer, it did rain for much of our beach vacation. Oddly enough, though, it turned out okay. We napped during storms and watched a movie or two, then took advantage of the dry times. We're a pretty resilient bunch.
10. Skunks.

Podcast Review/Recommendation: The Box of Oddities

Two days a week, I wake up to my alarm and immediately get out of bed. One of those days is Monday. The other is Thursday. What could possibly get a sleep lover like myself to greet the day so eagerly, especially a Monday? I'm glad you asked. Because the answer is, The Box of Oddities  podcast.

Where else can I learn about goo falling from the sky in a small Washington town? How else would I know there's an island off the coast of Brazil that's covered in snakes? Who, besides hosts Katrina Walls and Jethro Gilligan Toth, would not only share so many of my bizarre interests but would be enthusiastic enough about them that they'd research four topics every single week and produce a podcast for self-proclaimed "freaks" like me? The answer is... nowhere. Actually, there are other podcasts that offer a peek into the bizarre and the unexplained, but this is the best one I've found. In the year or so they've been producing their show from their home in Bangor, Maine, the married couple have discussed such a wide range of topics that I never get bored. From Salvador Dali to aliens, from mystery pop machines to mansions with dead-end staircases, this show delves into the best and worst of humanity, technology, psychology, history, entertainment, and more. It's a smorgasbord of information for the curious-minded.

In addition to the fascinating and diverse topics Kat and J.G. (yeah, we're tight like that... no, we're not) cover twice a week, their personalities and chemistry are fabulous. J.G. has an incredible radio voice, and Kat's laughter is contagious. Their interactions are sometimes hilarious; other times, they're frighteningly familiar to anyone who's been in a relationship for any length of time--and still hilarious. The two are delightfully quirky, but not over-the-top. It never feels like they're trying too hard. Their delivery and rapport is effortless.

So, I'm proud to call myself a "freak" (the affectionate name they've given their fans), and I fly my freak flag high. I only wish I could attend their live show this coming weekend in Nashville, TN. But maybe they'll venture closer to me at a later date. A freak can dream...

If you're interested in sampling the show, here are a few of my favorite episodes:
Box 036: Mark Twain Skid Marks
Box 010: Screamed at by a Hobo
Box 046: Eat a Banana
Box 096: Bowling with God

I mean, they're all good, but these will get you started.

And here's a link to my first podcast review/recommendation post, where you can find links and suggestions for finding the perfect podcast listening service for you.